Despair

by Rose Mwai

I will take this path and walk past all these;

For faith without sight is something I can not do anymore;

To be considered a fool by my friends I choose not;

They call me the little dreamer; the one who’s Lord is never visible;

The one who has chosen to be like Joseph;

To be the only one who holds onto what is invisible;

I’ve quit building castles, for all they do is crumble.

I don’t have the energy to fight the world’s battles;

Will this torment me forever?

Seeing a kingdom with no walls, I choose not;

Being the only one on the straight and narrow road is not practical;

Talking to an invisible God is not fulfilling

Look at my friends (points at Prostitute and Corruption)
they seem to have discovered the secret awhile ago;

For while I was asleep, they have gained what they now own;
But then again who am I? What happened to Job will not happen to me;

I will lie low and wait for death

Nothing lasts forever; why should I keep trying?

I don’t go home anymore for I have nothing to give;

Every eye on the street seems to be on me;

For they say; what good can come from that one;

But wait a minute don’t rush and say that they said the same of Nazareth;

For I cannot be equated to Jesus; He was way out of this world;

My hands seem to be jinxed for they produce nothing.

I was just let go off work for I seem not to be of the right skin;

My whys fall on deaf ears; what about when?

Time just seems to pass so slowly.

You’ve got to go for what you want and forget the rest of the world;

They all advise; but we are too many in this world;

I must be the forgotten one of them all;

His palm seems to be so full of other people’s names; mine
must be the one with the small font;

Shall death not do I the favour and let me go?